wishful thinking

today, i'am less of a man.
regret consumes me..
the memories.. haunt me.

the biggest mistake i made was to lay eyes on you..
i should've shut them until i had the chance to..
but i wanted to know more, i wanted reassurance.
i wanted it to hurt that much that i kept my eyes wide open..



but now, i still am in awe. for i could still feel,
all the while, my eyes are wide shut.

like a blind mind, the sensations around me are stronger.
however, i could never again look at what these are.

imagination.

always in dreams, could i see. only in dreams i could believe.
only in dreams am i with you.

we built sandcastles in sand for the waves to destroy..
how could all these happen just like that?
all the hardwork for a split second wave..
the sea of tears is calling me, but i'am not ready to drown.

here i'am dressed as a clown.
trying to please everyone, but behind all the powder and make-up
is a frown that cannot be turned upside down.

and then i see you
nothing else
but you

looking deep into my eyes, like finding answers in questions
that i could never ask

i never had any regrets, only mistakes

and there is no other person to blame but myself.

i just wanted to say goodbye.. but why am i saying hello..
as if i just saw you for the first time?

i just have to let it go..

i just have to pray that you may find someone..


who will love you..






just as i do now..

everyone is talking about love
some dream about it
and some question it
what is love?
who is love?
where is love?
when is love?
..how is love?

i never knew what love is all about

staring at the endless sky.. it gives me more questions
on why there is love

and the glow of the stars and the moon gives me reassurance
of their bewilderment just as iam experiencing as of now

as dark as the night sky, my feelings are as empty and endless

that is why i keep questioning to fill the gaps just as the stars
and the moon does

yet no matter how many stars there are out there, they
seem to fail to completly fill up the sky


..and that is why there is darkness

that is why there are questions

that is why there is love